This was the race this year. The race. The one that the whole year sort of revolved around. To say I was ready was an understatement. I have been ready all year.
The one thing I truly love about Ironman is the journey. I love to train. All day, every day, get up super early and just do it. The other thing I like about Ironman is like they say, anything is possible.
Now after last year's race, I believed I had in me an even better performance. There is something about going all day that just does it for me. (well almost all day, you know what I mean :)
Going into Sunday I was ready. Here are the highs and lows....
Wake up wayyyyy before alarm. I was even texting at 11:45pm. (Def low!) Hmmm. Not much sleep. But a little. You know that calm feeling like, "whatever" that is how I felt all morning. Going through the motions, getting ready, leaving, getting there, "whatever"
In the back of my mind all I could thing was ... anything is possible
Jump in the water and tread water for 15 minutes (has anyone ever told you the water in TTL is gross? Like brown? You can smell it!) Definitely a low point! Line up in the front and to the far right. Boom, time to go. Swim, swim, swim, block mental thoughts, stop apologizing for people hitting me WTF? and move on. Have a decent swim (or so I thought) get to the stairs and struggle up. Run up, jump down and see the clock. 1:21. Major disappointment. Come crashing down. OMG what? Now here is where I have to just get out of my own head. And sometimes that is the hardest thing to do.
I have rationalized it over and over (and over and over) and this is what I come up with (my own two cents version):
1. It is a long day, I know I have it in me to improve here and I will and already have, but the magic number I wanted to see was not there. Was this the end for me?
2. Would it have been any different if I hadnt fumbled on the stairs and got out two minutes faster. Would seeing the 1:19 make me feel differently? What if it was like 3-4 minutes of waiting to get out of the water onto the stairs. Would I have been less disappointed?
3. My mind set would have been better but it didnt change the way I carried on from there. It was still the second fastest IM swim I have had (STOP LAUGHING ALL YOU SWIMMERS :) (again) anything is possible moving on...
Run through(spend a ridiculous amount of time just getting bag and through and move on to bike. Ride out. Force a smile and remind myself I am going to be positive today. Relentlessly positive. And sitting on my wrist was the pink band as a reminder. Okay- High point!
The first lap was great, nice tailwind coming home then the windshifted every which way but loose so every direction from there on had a different feel. I stayed within myself just riding forward. Yes, happy here. Big PR. But, no it is in me to improve though. Anything is possible.
Here is where the race was just starting to get fun. It was onto my favorite part. The run. Just put on the runners and go. Start off slow, build into it and do your thing. Just move forward that is all you have to do. That's all. Run down the path and panic sets in. Must get to potty. STAT. What? Yes, honey bucket to honey bucket for all 26.2 miles of fun. Happy to report, I did not walk any portion and even when it was coming up the other direction I stayed positive. HIGH! Not happy but positive. Because as you know, anything is possible. A definite all time low of the race. What caused it? Who knows. My guess would be the lake. The brown fecal filled lake water. Nutrition had been spot on til that point. My guess is the water's effect finally caught up? Who knows and who cares.
This journey has brought me a step closer to my goals. I can take the tools I again gathered and move on. I will embrace the good and move on from the bad. I am fortunate to be able to do this and in this week of thanksgiving I am thankful that I can. Yes I did PR. It took me about 36 hours to be okay with the small one it was. But still a step in the right direction.
Huge props to my hubby who was all over the course all day because he knew I didn't feel good. Love that guy!
Loooking forward to a little rest, a little sleep and some unstructured life for awhile. ( read.. Maybe a few days!) Today I am already bored. I tried jogging across the parking lot at work.
and yes I did sign up for next year.
Anything is possible!